April 18, 2009

According to my calendar.......

......... and Simba, my trusty feline secretary, I now have an entire year without a binge "under my belt."
That is nothing short of a miracle!

As I re-read the Divorcing Ed post, I find myself feeling a bit sad. I felt so excited and victorious at that moment in time. I believed that the most difficult part of my recovery was behind me. I now realize that recovery and healing take time..... lots of time. For 37 years, my life vacillated between bulimia and anorexia. It's silly for me to expect these ingrained patterns and coping mechanisms to disappear overnight.


~ I still struggle with anorexic thought patterns

~ The desire to binge is often present

~ I long to eat like a "normal eater" (if there is such a thing)

~ I worry about relapse

~ I often feel as if my disordered eating calls the shots,
not the other way around

~ The Good News ~

~ God directed me to the help that I desperately needed

~ I was open and ready to accept that help

~ I'm not alone ~ for we each have our "Ed's"
in one form or another

~ I am surrounded by loving, supportive family and friends

~ Despite my occasional melancholy, I have much hope
for a bright future

~ I've learned that I am one tough cookie
(did someone say cookie?) ;-)

+++++++++++++++++++

"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear."

Big hugs to my "teacher" Louise at Kaiser!

1 comment:

Lynn said...

Terry I am happy for your year of positive eating. I can only imagine how hard a road this has been for you...I admire your fortitude to continue taking good care of yourself in all ways.
I hope the next day, month, days, months, year is a bit easier and the next even easier still.

Each day allows us another opportunity to do something better I think. thank goodness for another chance. Right?

Your cat/secretary is adorable! Quite the picture!!!!